A few things you should know about me. (in addition to the fact that I am in hurry and didn’t proof read this)

First, with my own children and grandchildren, when they have differences of opinions with me, I am always on my side, not theirs. But whenever I hear argument between a parent or grandparent (other than me) and a child, and when I can hear enough to sense what is going on, I am inevitably on the side of the child. The child always seems right to me.

Second, if a young woman gets in trouble (and I must admit it helps of they are attractive), I always assume that they are being wronged, and that they are in the right. Remember Casey Anthony, whose trial for the murder of her three year old daughter was televised, gavel to gavel, about 20 years ago? I watched most of that trial and I was sure (as was the jury) that she was innocent. No, let me correct that. I was sure she was innocent; the jury found her not guilty.

Another case, from about the same time, was the arrest and conviction of Amanda Knox in Rome (Italy, not Georgia or New York) for the murder of her roommate, both students (one from the US, one from the UK). Knox was imprisoned for several years, and then the conviction was overturned (I don’t remember why) and she was released and went back to her home town in Washington State. I was convinced that she was innocent throughout. Still am.

I am not claiming that this is a matter of gender. I was convinced, for example, that O.J. Simpson was innocent, basically on the theory of “nobody in his right mind would do that”, not realizing that Simpson (even though not convicted) was clearly not in his right mind and undoubtedly murdered Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. On the other hand, that Murtaugh guy (if that’s the way he spells his name) in South Carolina? He has never seemed innocent to me.

I bring this up because just this morning after finishing the New York Times crossword puzzle (who has ever heard of the Wutang Clan?), I glanced at the article above it and saw that Amanda Knox, now at age 39, not 19 any longer, has decided to become a stand up comic (a long term ambition of mine) at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and that at least part of her humor centers around her experiences in jail in Italy. I wish Knox the best, but I am not certain that she has chosen the right career or the right subject matter, but the idea that she was arrested for murder, convicted for murder, jailed for murder, later freed, and then decided to turn that into a comedy routine, did give me some ideas.

For example (and this is, I think, today’s only example), what if Donald Trump, after his bit part as president is over, decided to turn his experiences into a comedy routine and try them out in 2029 in Edinburgh?

The highlight of the routine, of course, would be his escape from Turkey in a caterer’s cart (not that I know what a caterer’s cart really is, but I could make up a description that you could believe, because you don’t really know, either), when it turned out that the airplane he got from Qatar was less than meets the eye, and that he couldn’t get on the old Air Force One because……..[you fill in the blank]. So, he had to get into a caterer’s cart and travel by cart, along with several dozen parfait glasses and a bunch of dirty napkins, all the way to London (on a Fedex plane), where he finally could transfer to a replica of the Spirit of St. Louis and head west, Greeley style, to Washington.

Of course, he would have other routines as well. Cheating at golf is a good one. What he really thinks of the pillow king, Mike Lindell is another. How he fooled the leaders of Iran into thinking that he really was going to beat them at war was a third. How he beautified Washington DC could make up an entire evening – how crime has disappeared, how a city where you were afraid to go to a restaurant became one where you wanted to open your own, how the monuments were being painted gold, or were being beautified with a peel-off American Flag Blue non-sealant. He could restage the UFC White House fights with himself playing all of the parts.

You could go on and on.

My guess is that Trump would win the Best in Class award in Edinburgh and that the Guinness Book of World Records would certify that he was the oldest and most senile comedian ever to win at the Fringe.

Well, this is not going to happen. But, boy, if I were a comic writer, what material I could put together for a Trump look-alike actor!! And there sure are many of those.

DNC: Want to know how to win for sure in 2028? Hire me to write the script. I asked Google AI who should play Trump. They suggested James Austin Johnson, Shane Gillis, Alec Baldwin (I could make my own one man show based on him, so let’s leave him out of this one), Darrell Hammond and Phil Hartman.

Your choice.