When I read that Donald has concluded that the problems with the algae growth and peeling paint at the Reflecting Pool were caused by Vandals, I naturally wondered if we had seen any Vandals when we visited the pool last week.

So, I wondered what a Vandal looked like, how I could recognize one. I asked my usual sources, and they sent me this picture….

I can honestly say that, on the day we visited the Reflecting Pool, there were no Vandals present.

I think Donald may be barking up the wrong tree. There are, as you may know, many beautiful trees lining the Reflecting Pool, and these trees are undoubtedly infested by baby lantern flies. Yes, only babies this time of year and, like all babies, baby lantern flies are hungry, active and do not know right from wrong.

In addition, baby lantern flies are very cute.

Now, I took this picture on our front porch, not at the Reflecting Pool, but they are all over and, because they are so cute, people would rather watch them than send them to Lantern Fly Heaven. So it is my guess that armies of baby lantern flies have taken over the Reflecting Pool, encouraged the growth of their allies, green algae, and are still feeding on that delicious American Flag Blue paint. And nobody has tried to stop them.

Actually, I am kidding. I know that Vandals no longer roam the earth, and that baby lantern bugs do not thrive on blue paint. So, who is to blame?

I have an unusual answer to that question. I think the person to blame is Donald John Trump, who just could not see the forest because of the trees. What do I mean?

It is simple. Donald John Trump, wanting to turn the water of the Reflecting Pool blue, went out and hired two companies to do the work, one of which is named (ta da!) …. Green Water Solutions!

Donald, you should never ignore the obvious.

Similarly, you should realize that a war has never been ended by a Memorandum of Understanding, especially one like the one you signed with your signature flourish the other day and one which Iran signed with the equivalent of an autopen. It is not surprising that Israel and Hezbollah, which had as much influence on the MOU as I did, are still fighting. And it is not surprising that the Strait of Hormuz, sort of a little bit but not too much open the last few days, is closed again.

The next move is yours. What will you do about the closed strait? Send in the Vandals? The baby lantern flies? Green Water Solutions?

Remember that Woody Allen film where the seemingly world’s worst punishment would be to take the accused and lock him in a tiger cage with a mutual fund salesman? Have you thought about threatening the new Iranian leader with capture, followed by an indefinite imprisonment in an ICE cage somewhere in deepest Louisiana with J.D. Vance as a companion? That should do it.