I had breakfast with one friend yesterday and lunch with another. Each told me a secret that I am not allowed to repeat.

On another topic, I ordered pancakes twice recently at First Watch. Actually, at different locations, so I will rephrase. I ordered pancakes twice recently at two First Watches. OK, that is not clear, either; you might think I ordered four pancakes, and that would be false

So I will try a third time. On two different recent occasions, I ordered a pancake at First Watch, but guess what? The pancakes were different, and so we’re the First Watches.

I am not going to identify the two First Watches. You can guess, if you want. I will only give you one hint. Here it is: Since June, I have been in four First Watches, and two of them have no connection with what I want to say.

Okay, that was not really a clue. And it also isn’t really accurate. But to explain would be totally confusing and just lead to more questions. And we don’t need that, do we?

To get on with our story, let me say this. If I were asked to grade the two pancakes, one would get an F and the other an A+.

Why am I telling you this? Here is a big clue for this question: because you do not want to hear any more about Donald Trump.

The F pancake was their carrot pecan pancake. I ordered it because it seemed healthy and interesting. It was both. But it wasn’t edible. It was the first time I had ever ordered a pancake at a First Watch, and I vowed I would never order a pancake there again.

Thus (so, therefore, ergo), when I went to First Watch the next time, I ordered a pancake. This time, a multi-grain pancake. With a little syrup, it rated an A+.

By the way, their coffee is quite good. It comes from a district in Colombia, and not the District of Columbia. You order a cup; they give you a pitcher. The Washington Nationals should go to First Watch. Boy, do they need a pitcher.

There are 535 First Watch locations. That means that if you decided to eat every day at a different First Watch every morning and started on January 1, 2026, you would finish on June 19, 2027. That assumes two things. Can you guess what they are? First, you don’t miss a day. Second, the number of First Watches does not change. (I could elaborate on both of those points. But, I won’t.)

By the way, they have 14,000 employees. That seems like a lot, but remember Walmart has 2,100,000 employees. That means, for every employee First Watch has, Walmart has 150. This, by the way, is the first time that this comparison has ever been made. Ever.

Sometimes, I am sure that you wonder why you bother to read this blog. Today, I bet, is one of those times.

But stick with it. When all is said and done, you will know the answer to that question. And this I promise you. I will never let you down.