I don’t know about you, but I think that Rodney Dangerfield was one of the best comics of any time. A master of one liners (sure beats Bob Hope or Henny Youngman) I keep watching snippets of his self-deprecating humor. I can laugh at the same lines time after time.

He gets no respect:

(1) He’s on the beach as a kid and gets separated from his parents. He goes up to a policeman and asks him if he will be able to find his parents. “I don’t know”, says the cop, “there are so many places they could be hiding.”

(2) He decides to commit suicide. A priest is called. The priest sees him sitting on a ledge and says: “On your mark…..”.

(3) His uncle is dying and tells him that his last wish is that little Rodney sit on his lap. His uncle is sitting in an electric chair.

(4) He is kidnapped. The kidnappers send his parents a ransom note, a enclose a portion of Rodney’s finger. His father says “I need more proof”.

(5) He lives in such a bad neighborhood that once, when he bought a waterbed, he found a body in the bottom.

(6) His father took him to the zoo, and told him that he hoped that his real parents claimed him.

(7) He asked his father how to get his kite into the sky. His father said “Run off a cliff”.

(8) His son likes to play pranks, like the one time he mixed super glue with his Preparation H.

(9) He told his father he wanted to go skating on the lake. His father told him to wait until it got warmer.

(10) He had a lot of pimples when he was a teenager. Once he fell asleep in a library and woke up to a blind man reading his face.

(11) He’s so ugly that on Halloween, kids knock on his door and give HIM candy.

(12) He drinks too much. His doctor asked for a urine specimen. There was an olive inside.

(13) When he went hunting with his father, his father game him a 3 minute head start.

(14) When they were finished hunting, his father put the deer in the back seat and tied HIM to a fender.

(15) He is so ugly, his father keeps the picture of the kid that came with the wallet.

(16) And his wife…..One time someone stole their car. He asked his wife if she could identify the thief. She said “no, but I got the license number”.

(17) He figures his wife cheats on him a lot. Every time he comes home, the parrot says “Quick, out the window”.

And then there’s the end of the show he did for Ronald Reagan at the White House: “Don’t blame me. I voted for Randolph Scott.”

See you tomorrow.