People my age tell me about all their visits to their many doctors. I have been very lucky. My doctors visits have been no more numerous than when I was in my 30s. I understand that will probably change, but it hasn’t yet.

Yesterday, I had my annual ophthalmology appointment, and today my annual dermatology appointment. And a good time was had by all.

A little more than a year ago, my eye doctor merged his practice into a larger practice and moved his office from 5530 Wisconsin Ave to 5454 Wisconsin Ave. Not a big move, you say, but if you ever had to park in the garage at 5454, you’d not say that.

One thing about his new practice: I received 7 telephone and email reminders of my appointment. Then I received a “save time during your appointment” email with a 9 page questionnaire to fill out. I filled it out and know one thing for sure. None of the questions had anything to do with my eyes or my appointment. I assume all of this personal data is residing somewhere in Beijing. I asked my doctor why I had to answer questions on line, then when I got to the office, then when I talked to his assistant and then when I talked to him. He shrugged – “I guess they are all different questions…..and essential.”

My doctor’s assistant, Jackie, started my examination by asking me more questions. I first noted that I had floaters in 1972 (I remember the time precisely) and they haven’t changed since then. So, 50 years of telling eye doctors I have floaters. But Jackie wasn’t satisfied and wanted me to describe them. Never having taken a creative writing class, I admit to being at a loss for words. She asked me if they were circles, or strings, or a bunch of other things. My answer was always “no”. She then asked me: well, are they cow webs? I told her I didn’t even know what a cow web was. Her response: then they probably don’t look like them.

I later asked my doctor what a cow web was. He said “you mean cobweb?” I told him that I knew he wasn’t my ear doctor (I don’t have one), but I was sure she said “cow web”.

I always have a great time talking to my eye doctor. He complains about modern medicine and his own health problems and I listen and tell him jokes. My next appointment is December 19, 2023 (optimistic huh?), but maybe I’ll make a six month appointment just to talk.

Today, I had an appointment with my dermatologist. She with her magic CO2 machine with which Medicare will let her zap up to 14 harmless but unappealing things off my skin. She had a new assistant with her today. I was intrigued because she looked like she could be Brittney Griner’s twin sister. Except she wasn’t 6 foot 9. She was only about 6 foot 3.

My next appointment there? December 12, 2023.

December 2023 is filling up. If you want to make an appointment with me then, better sign up now.