Yes, truth is stranger than fiction. And Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was one of the strangest books of fiction I read my kids when they were young. And then it became a movie.

Well, I assume that another movie is about to be made. And that it will be called Cloudy with a Chance of Submarines. Maybe this one won’t be for children……but maybe it will.

When Donald Trump first put federal officers of various types in the streets of Washington a few months ago, a federal employee, Sean Dunn, was outraged. He yelled at some border patrol officials, went into a Subway Sandwich Shop, bought a salami sub, came out of the shop, and threw the sandwich at Agent Gregory Lairmore, hitting him smack in the bulletproof vest.

The U.S. Attorney, Jeanine Pirro, had instructed her office to throw the book (metaphorically speaking, I believe) at apprehended alleged criminals, charging them with the strongest crime that they could be accused of, so her office wanted to bring felony assault charges against Mr. Dunn. The matter was brought before a sitting grand jury in the District of Columbia, and the grand jury refused to process an indictment.

So the U.S. Attorney started again, this time bringing the case as a misdemeanor. And now there has been a jury trial, a two day trial. And Sean Dunn was found not-guilty.

Now, there is no question but that Sean Dunn threw a salami submarine sandwich at Lairmore, or that it hit him. It may be that Lairmore exaggerated the effect of the incident when he said that the sandwich exploded, spewing onions and mustard all over him. But the sandwich, which was photographed on the sidewalk, apparently was still in its wrapper.

The jury apparently decided that throwing a sandwich at someone cannot cause harm and therefore is not an assault, that it was like a teddy bear being thrown at a parent by an angry child. Frankly, I don’t know. It seems to me you don’t want people willy nilly throwing sandwiches at federal officials all over town. You know, you start with a sandwich, and pretty soon, it’s a baked potato, and then maybe a baked Alaska.

I can’t give any advice to the federal officials strolling our streets, other than to have some paper towels handy. In fact, all of us need to be prepared, because food fights might be starting out all over. And you will have no recourse to the courts, to be sure.

On the other hand, there may be a silver lining. I for one will take my IRA and invest it in Subway stock.

Clearly, I have misgivings about this verdict. If you throw something at a federal officials, what is the boundary between something that is an assault, and something that isn’t? And if throwing a sandwich does not constitute an assault, does it at least constitute littering? Or is that only if you don’t pick it up? And when does throwing a sandwich become interfering with official duty? Only if the official is doing something? Or do I and the U.S. attorney both have this wrong? Perhaps throwing a sandwich is not an assault because, like so many others things, it constitutes free speech.

But I think this phenomenon goes beyond a submarine sandwich. Look at it this way.

Washington DC hates Donald Trump. Over 90% of Washington voted for Kamala Harris. And Donald Trump has no love lost for dirty, crime ridden, embarrassing DC. After all, he has “occupied” the town with the National Guard and extra law enforcement personnel.

He has occupied the city from whose citizens DC juries are selected.

Moreover, over the last four years DC grand jurors and DC jurors have worked very hard indicting and convicting 1000 or so individuals who rioted to various extent on the Capitol grounds on January 6, 2021. Donald Trump showed absolutely no respect to DC juries or grand juries when he pardoned each and every one of these convicted criminals.

Conscious or subconscious, I don’t know. But don’t you think it may be a little time for payback?