First, for a change, a digression……I never paid much attention (i.e., I paid no attention) to Trump’s Secretary of Defense Mark Esper. Did anyone? I just saw him interviewed by Jake Tapper. I was quite impressed.

Now, back to the main topic of the day: Father’s Day (see above).

Father’s Day never meant much (anything) to me, and I don’t think that it meant much to my father. At least, I don’t remember anything commemorating Father’s Day when I was younger. Perhaps, some years it passed without notice.

Whether Father’s Day meant anything to my grandfathers, I don’t know. I never knew my father’s father, who died in 1939 and, although I knew his eight children very well until the last one passed away a few years ago, and of course I knew his widow until her death when I was 30, he remains an absolute mystery to me. My grandmother never spoke about him at all. And I mean at all. And I asked her very little. I only remember when I asked her how they met (in Europe), her answer was simply “Oh, you know…..”, which I took to mean “I’m not going to talk about that now or ever.” And when I asked about him to my father or my aunts or uncles, I used to get answers like “Oh, you would have liked him a lot”. Period. Mystery.

On the other hand, I was very close to my mother’s father, with whom we lived the first eight years of my life. Of course, I say that because I have always said that and always heard that. What “close” means, I am not sure. Did the two of us ever go anywhere together? Yes, to the Browns/Yankees games every year. But that’s all I remember. But I know that I loved and respected him. What did he think of Father’s Day? No clue.

My father was a consistent father, and I think that is good. Over the years that I knew him, he remained the same, principled, ethical, constant. We didn’t go on father/son ventures. He was not a Good Time Charley (did I just make up Good Time Charley?). He was very quiet and reserved. I hardly ever remember him raising his voice. My mother, not he, was the disciplinarian…..but he would stand by her discipline, even when a rational person (such as me) would find it outrageous. He was a calming influence on a rather volatile relationship between a mother and her son.

We have a busy day today. Tickets to see August Wilson’s “Radio Golf” at the Round House Theatre this afternoon, and then Hannah’s and Michelle’s families are coming over for a casual dinner. The fathers in attendance will be Andrew, Josh, Josh’s father Vernon, and me. Do any of us care about Father’s Day? I don’t know the answer to that, either.

But the role of a father is important, both for the father and his children. We see that from various studies and statistics and we know it instinctively. But with divorce rates continuing to be very high, and out of marriage births equally high, we know that it isn’t always possible for fathers to be the fathers they wish they could be.

Father’s Day has no theme, other than to say “Happy Father’s Day” to your father. Perhaps it should. Perhaps there should be more concentration on the role of the father (whether or not the father is still married to and living with the mother of his children) and on the encouragement of surrogate fathers for those children who lack a real one.

I’m not sure how this would work…..but it is something to ponder.