John Henry was a steel driving man. John Henry was a Luddite, and also an enslaved man, who outperformed a mechanical drill in digging through rock during the construction of the cross country railroad tracks in the 19th century. He outperformed the steam drill, yes, but he also died “with his hammer in his hand” when he finished.
A digression: A Luddite is a sedentary John Henry. Ned Ludd was the John Henry of the English weaving trade, when machines were introduced into the English textile world. Ned Ludd did not die competing against the machines. He simply destroyed the machines.
I am sitting here this morning, watching the finals of the men’s snowboarding half-pipe, where all of the competitors look like John Henrys, but so far none of them have died. For those who don’t know what this event entails (that would have included me 15 minutes ago), imagine a very large (very, very large) hollow pipe with the top half cut off, covered in deep snow. Then imagine starting at the head of the half pipe, your feet attached to a snow board, and starting to go down hill (yes, the half pipe slopes downward), and four times on your speedy journey, you turn to board up the sides of the half pipe. As you get to the top, you wind up in the air, when you hit the half pipe’s rim and, while there, you do a bunch of tricks, which involve spinning and turning and rotating sideways and upside down, and then you land, still standing (hopefully) on your board to continue your way down to the finish line.
As a human endeavor, this seems absolutely impossible to me, but clearly there are those who can do this with relative ease (maybe), although falling seems to be something you expect to happen now and then and, for some reason, you never seem to be hurt when you fall.
There is no possible competition with a steam drill here, to be sure, but how about this? When I first turned this on this morning, it seemed to me unreal. I thought I was watching Japanese anime, an artificially constructed sport. And then I thought of the competition. Real life half pipers vs. AI. Who would win? I must admit that the fact that two of the medals (gold and bronze) went to Japanese competitors seemed appropriate. As I would imagine that the animators would be Japanese as well, I can see it now. Man vs. machine once more. Anything the techies could come up with (there would have to be rules, of course, and limits to ingenuity), man can do better.
The winter sports are more interesting to me than the summer sports. Not that I enjoy watching them more (I don’t), but they seem more unreal to me. To perform in the summer Olympics, I would just have to be much younger and better than I am. To perform in most of the winter competitions, I would have to be of an entirely different species.
But then, maybe I could have competed in the luge. As I see it, the skills needed for that sport are the same that are needed to get an MRI. You lie down on your back, close your eyes, don’t move, and minutes pass until you are told you are through and you can get up. Yes, the luge is both colder and breezier than an MRI, but that just means you have to be dressed appropriately.
And what about curling? Curling is a sport that appears every four years when the winter Olympics happen. During the time between winter Olympics, I never hear anything about people spending their weekends curling (except perhaps in beauty salons, something that I know nothing about and whose events are rarely televised). But curling has one advantage to it. You are told to push (or curl) the “stone”, keeping it straight for your target, and making sure you don’t push it too hard so that it does not go too far. That sounds better to me than a sport where you push it as hard as you can. I would be much better at “restraint” than “excess”, I am sure.
I just read (because I just looked it up) and saw that the curling stone is typically made of granite (like a tombstone, I guess), and that it weighs about 42 pounds. In Britain, of course, a stone is a weight measure meant equivalent to 14 pounds. This means that, in Britain (at least), a curling stone is three stones in one stone. Now, I weigh about 10 stones, and that means if you weighed me and a curling stone, we would weigh about 13 stones, which would probably be unlucky, so I will give up my plans on becoming a senior stoner.
I am now watching women’s team speed skating. This is another sport I would have a hard time competing in. Not only would I find the skating hard, the speed impossible, and the coordination with my two speed skating teammates confusing, but I would be accused of being a man competing in a women’s sport and would probably be disqualified.
All of this made me wonder if I should compete in the 2026 Senior Olympics, and I decided that I would. But much to my disappointment, I have now learned that there are no 2026 Senior Olympics, and that I will have to wait until 2027. But, it seems to me, by then I will be much too old to have a chance of being selected on a team that could qualify. There are about 30 sports featured in the Senior Olympics. I might have a go at shuffleboard (that is one of them) or cornhole (another). Or maybe Senior Beach Volleyball? Why not?
See you in 2027 in (believe it or not) Tulsa.








































